Everything

“Your swing already had interference.”

“Dressed for the Algarve. Playing in Surrey.”

“Insert coin. Lose ball.”

“Straighter than anything else you'll hit today.”

“Subtle. For us.”

“Autumn golf. Summer confidence.”

“Camouflage for the trees you'll be in.”

“Nine holes. Fourteen pints depicted.”

“Loud shirt. Quiet round. Neither is true.”

“Dressed for a wedding. Playing like it.”

“A floral apology for the divot.”

“Four leaves. Still three off the tee.”

“Your playing partner has muted you.”

“One leg. Still more stable than your stance.”

“Designed for prickly lies.”

“A better pattern than your scorecard.”

“Vitamin C won't fix the slice.”

“Your legs remain your responsibility.”

“Camouflage that makes you significantly easier to spot.”

“Dress like you won something. Nobody checks.”

“For rounds where you pretend to have a handicap certificate.”

“The one you wear when you're actually trying.”

“Also excellent for pretending you didn't hit that.”

“The most expensive thing you'll drop in mud.”

“It judges your tee shots. Silently.”

“You will lose three of these by August.”

“Easier to find. Still your responsibility to hit it straight.”

“Costs more than your green fee. Behaves better than you do.”

“For people who insist their ball flight is 'naturally high'.”

“Five pieces. Still only one of them your fault.”

“Soft ball, soft landing, same three-putt.”

“The ball your playing partner did not expect to out-drive you with.”

“Discontinued, like your old swing.”

“Cheap enough to hit over the water on purpose.”

“Designed for the fairway. Frequently seen in the rough.”

“Holds fourteen clubs. Cannot hold your round together.”

“Six clubs. Fewer decisions. Better day.”

“Your clubs weren't the problem.”

“Look good. Three-putt beautifully.”

“Mark it. Move it back. We saw you.”

“Unfortunately, these cannot fix your slice.”

“Protects the club. Not the shot.”

“Camouflage, if your course happens to be a savannah.”

“Dress code compliant in exactly one clubhouse.”

“Luck is not a strategy. It is, however, a print.”

“The tiny golfer on the hem is also in the trees.”

“The subtle one. For the member-guest.”

“Boring, in the way that a low handicap is boring.”

“Sleeves are optional. Etiquette is not.”

“The house always wins. So does the guy off 18 with the shots.”

“Pre-faded, so you can skip a decade of wear.”

“Looks like a decorating accident. Costs considerably more.”

“Your grandfather's curtains, tragically flattering.”

“The back is louder than the front. Deliberately.”

“Hospitality, printed 400 times.”

“Ornate enough to distract from your grip.”

“Subtlety was priced out of this one.”

“Every doodle on this shirt is a shot you have played.”

“Standing on one leg is also how you finish your follow-through.”

“Structured, unlike your bag.”

“Fireworks are also what happens on the scorecard.”

“Designed for the round you abandon after twelve.”

“For finding your ball, not yourself.”

“Somewhere on this shirt is a small explanation for your handicap.”

“Inoffensive. We do those too, occasionally.”

“Warm weather shirt. Cold weather regrets.”

“The shirt you wear when you actually want to score.”

“The blue is optimistic about your ball flight.”

“Flowers, but discreet about it.”

“Old money silhouette. New money print.”

“Holiday shirt that survives the flight home.”

“Based on a floor. Worn better than one.”

“One of these is fun. Four of these is a stag do.”

“Ripe. Unlike your decision-making on par fives.”

“Underwater theme. Fitting, given your last approach shot.”

“Blooms at dusk. So does your temper.”

“The uniform of a very relaxed fourball.”

“Fine china energy, terrible bunker play.”